This blog is officially retired. My Nomadlife blog is now my only blog.

 

Please visit http://lx.nomadlife.org like right now!

 

Alex

After last week's train-wreck (Dragon Squad) I was cautious about this film. I heard very mixed reviews, most of which were erring on the side of shite. The internet particularly did not like this film and the discussion boards pretty much "ethered" it. I had heard some decent reviews from some friends, however, and decided that it was worth seeing... I could always quit halfway after all!

 

The film involves three characters, a famous general who wears equally famous crimson armour (played by Japanese actor Hiroyuki Sanada), the "beauty of beauties" QingCheng (played by Cecilia Cheung) and a slave who can run fast, really fast (played by Korean actor Jang Dong Gun).

 

The film begins with a little orphaned girl. After cheating another little kid out of a piece of bread, she runs away and makes a deal with a Goddess that in return for being awesome and desirable, she will never be with the man she loves. The next scene is a battle scene, a famous general (played by Japanese actor,  Hiroyuki Sanada) Guangming wearing equally famous crimson armour enjoys a spectacular victory against a barbarian horde. He beats 20,000 barbarians with 3,000 soldiers, partially thanks to a slave (played by Korean actor Jang Dong Kun) named Kunlun who seems to be able to out-run a herd of buffalo.

 

The general acquires the slave and finds out the King is in trouble, so he tries to go back and save the King but gets into a fight with an equally speedy assassin (played by Ye Liu) Snow Wolf. The General is wounded and strung up. The Goddess comes back and tells the General that the King will be killed by someone wearing his armour. The General doesn't process this information very well and decides to give his armour to the slave to gave save the King in his place, since he is now wounded.

 

Meanwhile, the King is under siege by the army of Wuhuan (played by Nicholas Tse) who is a campish pretty boy after the King's "beauty of beauties" Princess Qingcheng (played by Cecilia Cheung). Qingcheng sells the King out because he's a dick, and he in turn turns on her. At this time, Kunlun gallops in, sees a woman in trouble and kills the King, such a chivalrous slave he is. But since he's wearing the armour, everyone thinks he's the General... including Qingcheng!

 

The General decides to take advantage of this and enjoys some fun times with Qingcheng in the sack... go General! Meanwhile, Kunlun is trying to figure out whether he should be loyal to his master, the General, or his love, Qingcheng. A bizarre love triangle ensues with plenty of hijinx punctuated by Wuhuan's plotting at revenge. Snow Wolf also plays an important role, he is Kunlun's countryman and has to go through his own clash of loyalties as he seems to be wearing a magic cloak, given to him by Wuhuan that keeps him alive.

 

Basically, this movie is pure fantasy. If you are expecting the same sort of historically grounded wuxia like in Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, Hero or House of Flying Daggers then abort mission. This is sci-fi ladies and gentlemen. We have magic cloaks, slaves that can run fast enough to travel through time and Nicholas Tse's hair. None of these things are the least bit real.

 

This movie is entertaining but it is also downright silly. This is in part thanks to the horrific CGI employed by the HK film studio. The film is meant to look beautiful and colourful, in the same way as Hero, but it just ends up looking fake. Chen Kaige is not Zhang Yimou, obviously.

 

It is also in part to the idiotic character detail and poor acting. The Japanese and Korean actors are absolutely terrific. They speak their parts in Chinese like they were natives and their roles are the only serious ones, so it seems. Nicholas Tse's character is an absolute joke. He has a stupid gold finger-staff (see pic below) and in the last scene his hair is actually in corn rolls. CORN ROLLS. We are not meant to be in Compton or Harlem... we are meant to be in ye olde Beijing!

 

Speaking of ye olde Beijing. Not only does Chen Kaige fail at real character development, Chen Kaige also completely fails in establishing any sort of background within which the story can flow. For example, there are no people in this movie. Just the characters, slaves and soldiers. Where are the townspeople? Also, the sets the use seem to have been created simply for coolness... no practical value. Aren't people meant to live in these houses and palaces? What use is a bunch of sliding bird boards, other than looking cool in a fight?

 

Cecilia Cheung also totally fails in this movie. Her role is meant to be the most interesting and complex one. How does she react to finding out that the General was not her saviour after letting him ravage her in bed? What will her relationship with Kunlun be like? How does she feel about the promise she made to the Goddess at the start of the movie as a little girl (yes that was her)? Think Cecilia Cheung will answer these questions with her performance? Think again. Her performance is cold and completely forgetful, which is in part why the audience is totally emotionally withdrawn from her relationships. Apparently this was meant to be a love story!

 

The good things about this movie are aforementioned performances by the Korean and Japanese actors. Also the fight scenes are reasonably entertaining, as far as general battle/fight scenes go. However, they are not groundbreaking as there are no real martial artists in this movie.

 

The film overall is reasonably entertaining if you completely look past the absolute fantasy and general incosistencies within it. How it was nominated for Best Foreign Film at the Golden Globes is absolutely beyond me, however. It seems these wu xia films pitched at the West have been getting progressively worse. We had Crouching Tiger which was awesome, Hero which was pretty good, House of Flying Daggers which was quite bad and The Promise which seems to be outright bad. They were all entertaining however so if you're after non-Hollywood flavoured but Hollywood-level entertaining garbage then this movie is for you.

 

 

2 stars

 

Alex

 

PS. Nicholas Tse is seriously shit.

Why oh Why do I not pay attention to internet movie reviews?

 

I can't believe Sammo Hung and Simon Yam put their names to this garbage. I hope they got paid... lots!

 

The film is about an elite group of SWAT policemen, the "Dragon Squad" who fight baddies.

 

This is basically another HK triad vs. police flick... except do not expect "Breaking News", "Infernal Affairs", "SPL" or "Police Story". This movie sucks! I can think of several scenes that made me absolutely cringe with their corniness and horrific dialogue. In fact, the dialogue was so bad, that if George Lucas was to learn cantonese and direct a triad flick, this would probably be it (albeit there'd probably be a random character named Jar Jar Bing, probably played by Nicholas Tse, who would just be there to annoy people).

 

Seriously, scenes where the members of the so-called Dragon Squad argue over who will be the one covering and who will be the one running and shooting... in the middle of a triad gunfight! Meant to showcase their bravery but could you imagine if that happened in a real SWAT team?

 

Scenes where these guys showcase their shooting skills in an arcade with moving ducks? Scenes where Sammo Hung is running with a group of other police officers and his dragon squad in tow... the whole dragon squad throw away their jackets (clothes in Asia are cheap but come on!) and there's some motivational speech... I mean... come on! Sammo Hung is large... the man needs a sports bra to run... his boobs jiggled like no SWAT team leader I've ever seen! Sure his kung fu is good but COME ON! How are sweaty jiggling manboobs and gratutious jacket throwing motivational?

 

This movie also features Shawn Yue, Maggie Q, some ABC from F4 and a random white guy who is the most one-dimensional character possible! I'm talking more one-dimensional than Disney and that shit was animated!

 

OK, I admit, I wanted to see this movie because it looked cool... and it was kind of... there was shooting, and blood, and explosions and car chases... but the movie buff within me rejected this movie on the basis of it being complete and utter crap. God the HK film industry has gone downhill in recent times. I couldn't even finish it. I cry... for the HK film industry and the Triad vs. Police genre... I cry...

 

0.5 stars

Alex

Hustle & Flow is about a cheap Memphis hustler and pimp Dee Jay (Terrence Howard) who has a dream to make it in the rap game. With his DJin friend (Anthony Anderson) he tries to hustle a well-established rapper, Skinny Black (Ludacris) also from Memphis to get a shot at the big time but things don't always happen the way you want them to...

 

Even though I'm a big hip hop fan (as y'all probably noticed from the rest of this blog), I didn't really have high hopes for the quality of this movie. I thought it would be another 8 Mile type scenario and the plot sounded a lot like Fiddy's Get Rich or Die Tryin' (which I havent seen)... Needless to say, I was surprised when I saw Terrence Howard's nomination for a Best Actor Oscar and even more stunned to see Three 6 Mafia pick up the Best Song Oscar. I also started seeing reviews in papers saying the Howard's performance was excellent and fully deserving of his nomination.

 

Finally the movie is released in Australia and I can check it out... totally blown away but the quality of this film! The Hip Hop is incidental (and a little annoying because of the southern sensibility). The true success of this film is its depiction of the gritty realism of life in the hood. Howard's performance as the determined pimp who could sell ice to the eskimos (not to mention pimp $20 hoes out the back of his chevy) is an absolute tour de force. Although Howard refused to perform the song at the Oscars because he didn't want black people to be pidgeon-holed as rappers and pimps, he must get props for this performance. Surely, Howard is due for greatness and Oscars to come, hopefully.

 

It also has to be said that the supporting cast of Taraji P. Henson (as Shuge, the pregnant prostitute who can really sing and DJay's love interest) and Taryn Manning (as Nola, the hoe with ambitions and some hidden abilities) who are all pretty much no-names did also perform quite well. Anthony Anderson provided his usual voice and attitude to the film. DJ Qualls, cast as Shelby, the church boy-cum-wigga-cum-DJ is terrible, however and one never fails to cringe during his lines which are meant to be taken seriously!

 

The film teaches some interesting lessons about following your dream, appreciating the people that support you and not relying on strangers for favours... however much of the moral subject matter is cliches and can also be cringeworthy at times (particularly during some of DJay's monologues) but also poingnantly insightful (DJay's "we man" monologue is a good one).

 

Overall, this is a success for hip hop culture and poverty in America because it really gets both subcultures out to the masses and quite successfully. The film is not perfect but by far the best to come out in its class.

 

4 stars.

 

Alex

Saw this at the Union Theatre... $5 tickets and it was 2 for 1... great deal! Reppin' it for the Uni of melbbbb....

 

"Rize" is a movie that documents the growing popularity of krumping and clowning, two very similar dance styles that have developed in the LA streets. The disclaimer at the start of the movie states that nothing in the movie has been sped up... you think, why are they saying this... soon you realise! The dance moves performed by these LA youngsters are incredible, speed, intensity, acrobatics... passion.

 

The kids on the streets of LA see this dance phenomenon as a positive outlet for their frustrations, those frustrations arising from the hardship of day-to-day life. The founder of the dance craze, Tommy the Clown, is referred to with reverence. The people involved see krumping/clowning as something that keeps them from doing something more negative, like joining a gang or getting involved with drugs, like many of their friends.

 

The documentary successfully showcases the amazing abilities of these kids, along with their feelings of frustrations and their incredible passions for their dance and their people. The problems and social issues that permeate their hoods (we're talkin' Compton, Long Beach, Inglewood...) are also clearly evident.

 

The highly personal nature of this phenomenon is probably what comes through strongest in this film but the director does well in capturing the vibe of the moment and linking it in a very socially relevant way.

 

Very much recommended,

Alex

Some background. The early 90s saw the rise of "backpacker" or underground rap music. Pioneered by the likes of De La Soul and A Tribe Called Quest, this was hip hop music that reject the gangsta rap that was permeating hip hop charts all over. "Backpacker" rap typically confronted important issues such as afrocentricity, alcoholism, ongoing police brutality and marginalisation, etc.

 

Tribe's "Mindight Marauders" was their second album, after their highly acclaimed debut titled "Low End Theory". The jury is out as to which LP is better, personally I prefer "Midnight Marauders" because it betrays improved production methods (props to DJ Mohammed) and vastly improved rap skills from the two main MCs, Q-Tip and Phife Dawg.

 

Tribe's sound is best described by comparing it to De La Soul's previously established fusion of jazzy beats and fluid rhymes. Tribe's rhyming was a little less boombastic than De La Soul's though, more chilled out (if possible) and more laid back. There seemed to be an almost tribal (heh) kind of ambiance in their music and the interaction between the two MCs can be cited as the main reason for this.

 

Standout tracks on this CD would have to include the anthemic "Award Tour" and the incredibly poignant track "Sucka Nigga" which deals with *that* N-word along with posturing MCs prevalent in gangsta rap circles. Here's a taste of the latter track's rhymes:

 

" And being that we use it as a term of endearment
Niggas start to bug to the dome is where the fear went
Now the little shorties say it all of the time
And a whole bunch of niggas throw the word in they rhyme"

 

An interesting reflection on the word and how it has developed into an important and extremely contentious part of American culture.

 

And that, in a nutshell, is A Tribe Called Quest. Surely, they are one of the most intelligent and relevant groups to come out of the 90s. Though they broke up in 98, their legacy lives on in their influence over many of today's popular "backpackers".

 

Alex

Guess Who's Bizzack! Yup... me... and my music reviews!

Well, I can't remember what or when the last one was but I am back in action well and truly and, most appropriately, my newest review is of Slim Thug from Houston, Texas, a place that has given rise to several of Hip Hop's newest superstars. If you aren't a dedicated hip hop fan, H-Town is the new thaaang (well not that new now, but new enough for me to call it new... heh). Not only has the Dirty South well and truly established itself as a force to challenge the traditional rap arenas like NYC and Cali but Houston has risen up, along with Atlanta, to be a major home base for Southern rap.

 

Some of you may have heard Slim Thugga already on various guest spots that he's done, most notably rapping on Beyonce's latest smash hit "Check Up On It" from The Pink Panther movie. You may not have realised, however, that Slim Thug released a solo album last year called, somewhat ambitiously, "Already Platinum".

 

Slim stands out from his other H-Town homies in a few ways. Firstly and most importantly, his voice is gruff and raspy, unlike some of the other southern drawlin boys. Also he stands 6'6 tall so you dont mess with him. Finally, he's signed to Pharrell's Star Trak label not Swishahouse (where other notable H-Town acts are signed).

 

Slim already had a fair bit of street cred under his belt, his work was well known on the mixtape circuit and he was well respected in his hood. This album is still some achievement for him though.

 

My two favourite tracks on this CD have to be "Boyz N Blue" and "I ain't heard of that" featuring Bun B. I also rather enjoyed "The Interview" and the final track "Dedicate" which features Pharrell and is dedicated to some of his homies. I'd like to say that Track 2 "Like A Boss" would be totally awesome if it wasn't for an annoying high-pitched yapping that has been looped over the track, yeeech...

 

Note, some of the tracks on this CD are "screwed and chopped" which is a Houston phenomenon where tracks are slowed down somewhat, making rappers sound like they're rhymin' and yawnin' at the same time (heads up to my man Daz for that call).

 

Overall, the Pharrell and Bun B collabos are pretty swish but I think Slim could do with some more guest rappers over the Star Trak beats. Seriously, I think a bit of Paul Wall or Chamillionaire wouldnt have hurt.

Also, the screwed and chopped thing, well I ain't totally diggin' it so maybe I'm not a true H-head but thats the way it is.

 

Overall though, impressive debut from Slim Thugga. He's not my favourite southern rapper. In my mind Luda still holds that title or maybe TI. I also enjoyed Bun B's and Paul Wall's latest albums a bit more. Still, this CD is definitely worth a cop and its in the "classic albums" category because it's a bit older (released mid last year) and has received very good reviews elsewhere. I ain't lovin' it as much as everyone else so 3.5 stars from me but props to Slim Thugga and the Star Trak team.

 

Alex